The single life

Calling all singles

In thinking about writing this blog, there was much to consider including and even much more to exclude. The focus of this article will be based around these three things: Focus, Folly, and Fiction.


As a single guy, there are many things I have the time and ability to do that my married friends cannot do. Paul speaks about this in 1 Corinthians 7:8. I have questioned God many times as to why there is no resolution to my desire to be married someday, but through all of this prayer God has taught me of His sufficiency for me, His love for me, and His purpose for me is something other than marriage at this time in my life. Coming to terms with God’s will for me to be single in this time of my life has always been a struggle, but it has taught me to rely on Him more fully and has formed me into someone who is focused on serving Him and not man. There is no greater fulfillment that I have found than when I am serving Him through spreading the Gospel. Not being responsible for the nurturing of a spouses faith as well as my own allows me to draw closer to Him and be more sensitive to His desires for my life. 


Modern dating, to me, has always comprised of shallow interaction through apps on your phone that allow you to learn someones favorite color and whether they are a dog or cat person right away, but after you find those things out it takes a turn for the worse. After many failed experiences with such applications, it became a personal vow of mine to never pursue someone this way again. I noticed that biggest issue with dating this way is that you build up this person in your mind to be what you want them to be based off of what they tell you about themselves. This never works. The person you build up in your mind and the real person are almost always going to be completely different. To me this is folly, because it is like chasing after a phantom of what you want to see and never actually being able to catch it. The only way I want to know someone is through interacting in person so that instead of building up a false image in my mind of who this person is, I can see them for who they really are from the start. 


Hollywood, Netflix, Mainstream news and social media place a sort of invisible pressure on young people to be in relationships or you are, “weird”. If we were to read about this kind of world in a book, we would hope that it was a fictional book, but sadly that is not the case. Seeing this fictional way of thinking influence younger generations to being insecure about themselves because they are not in a relationship from their eighth grade year on sickens me. I take joy in being able to stand as an example to younger kids who think they need to have someone in their life to be, “okay”. When Paul spoke to the church in Corinth and told them that single people should stay single so that they can stay focused on serving, he wanted all of those who were single to be okay with their singleness and not look down on themselves! To a world that seeks out the next relationship like their next new t-shirt, my life of singleness probably looks drab and dull, but I find solace in knowing that I can solely focus on God! 
To all those who are single, please please please do not feel like there is a cloud over your head because you are not in a relationship. Rather rejoice in the opportunity you have to draw close to God in this time of life where your distractions are minimal and you have time to serve Him to the full! I pray that you find peace in these years of your life, but more importantly that your relationship with Christ grows deeper with each passing day. Rely on Him through it all!

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One thought on “The single life

  1. Great message Darren! Paul did say he prefer people to be single like him but he said he knew people couldn't be like him because it was a gift only he had. He was the only one in the whole bible that had the gift of being able to endure a whole life of celibacy per 1 Corinthians 7:7. I really admired that about Paul because he didn't fornicate, masturbate, or do anything sexual just focused on Christ. That's why the books he wrote are some of the most powerful chapters in the bible.


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